One local resident stated this morning that she quote, "..woke to find an incredibly large amount of netsplitting had happened. I found all of my friends had gone, save for two locals and the new guy. It was pretty shocking because, I mean, it really just didn't feel like The S.U.P. anymore. I wasn't even sure I had gone to the right place, you know, at first. Ain't nobody got time for that."
As to whether or not the netsplitting will continue, it's anyone's guess. Members of The S.U.P. report feeling helpless to fight back, and all seem to be simply waiting it out.
This is Nikka reporting live on the scene with SUPTV News. Back to you, Bob.
Thanks, Nikka. What a touching story. In other news, the VIP Lounge has now opened for business at The S.U.P. HQ. Local residents are wondering what it is exactly. Is it a stripper bar? A hat store? SUPTV investigates with Nikka live on the scene. So you're saying you've managed to get inside the VIP Lounge, Nikka?
That's right, Bob. I must say, it's really something else in here. It's not what I had expected at all.
So what kinds of things are you seeing in there?
Well, I mean, it's mainly a lot of important members who couldn't be assed to give Our Fearless Leader a goddamned picture and a handful of information about themselves. And in some cases, the Leader even stated that she just didn't feel like asking them for it, and would probably do it later.
I see. So you must be really excited to be in there, then.
No, I mean, you would think that. You really would. But you would be incorrect, Bob. I've asked some visitors what they thought. One visitor said she had come from Hawaii and wishes she had never left. Another stated that he had lost their fucking sandwich, and for fuck's sake, to just leave him the fuck alone.
So do you feel that local residents are happy that the VIP Lounge has opened, Nikka?
I don't think they give a shit at all, Bob. Not even a little bit.
That's great news, Nikka. Thank you.
You're not even going to ask how I got over here so fast, Bob?
No, Nikka. No, I'm not. This concludes the news for now. I'm Bob Bobbinbobolis. Please join us next time on The Morning Puke Report. Good day.